At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
