what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
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You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
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Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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