do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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