:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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