I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
