He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
did i walk over a car last night?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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