Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize