I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
