Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
