What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
