Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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