Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
