Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
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his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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