lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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