Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize