Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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