i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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