put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
