even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
