just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize