Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
