...so i touched it.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
