I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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