so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Do you remember whose house we're in?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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