Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
