One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
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I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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