if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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