I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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