you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We have started to decorate penises.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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