Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
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obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
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Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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