The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize