wrigley field is MILF paradise
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
