im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
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I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
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We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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