I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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