Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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