you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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