I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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