My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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