is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?