Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Ladies don't puke and tell
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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