I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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