DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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