Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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