yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
