Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My vagina just recognized that song.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
All the doctor said was why
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
