Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
