if you like me you must not know who I am
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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