There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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