Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My pussy is not your playground.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
