Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
