Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
