Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
as a side note pls kill me
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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