I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
