when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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